Hat Trick

[Underlandtongue]

File this under: “Do not try this at home.” Frankly, it takes a certain class of guy to do this trick. You have to be good to begin with. You have to have a cold hearted attitude towards achieving the goal.


And you gotta get lucky.


We aren’t talking Hockey here folks, we’re talking a Hat Trick of a different sort.


Read this story by Ben to see why this is such a unique and celebrated feat in the arena of any sport…


BEN:

Feats of unimaginable craziness or luck aren’t often pulled off by the average person. They are either too crazy or too unrealistic to believe.


To take three girls home from the same bar three different times, in the same night is known as a hat trick in my group of friends. I am the only one on my group to have ever pulled off such an incredible ballsy feat.


This legendary night occurred one December right after I left college. It was the rare mood where both hyperactivity and the “I don’t give a fuck” mood met up and went to the bar looking for women.. In December most girls frequented only a couple bars; the large indoor bars type without patios, many floors, and large dance floors. This evening, after going to two of the bigger ones, and seeing only a handful of people, we decided to go to a newer bar we had just heard about that week. Jackpot, we found the “spot.”


About an hour and a couple brews later, I spot this hot little number across the bar eyeing me like a fat kid eyes pie. She keeps shooting me looks, I shoot a few back but don’t pay too much attention so she will work harder to give me the ok. She eventually comes over to me and strikes up a rather shallow conversation revolving around my name, profession, and why I chose this bar tonight. Stupid talk. I was bored, she could tell, so she asks where I live.


“A couple blocks away” I replied back


“I would love to see where you live. I heard apartments around here are really nice”


“Sure, but my friends are leaving soon, so we cant be long”


“We’ll be quick” she says while shooting me a devilish grin


So we get to my place, and with all aggressive girls she looks around real quick, and then pounces on me. We don’t even take our clothes off. I slide her skirt up to her waist and I drop my pants. We went at it for about 5 minutes. A true “quickie” No foreplay or anything.


“What a great start to winter break” she says as we leave


We get back to the bar entrance and her friends are waiting outside, all on their cell phones trying to call her. We walk up and they quickly grab her do some cat like squabbling and swoop her into a cab. Bummer. No seconds on that dish.


I get back to the bar, my buddies all shake their head and laugh. Buy be a drink and we continue to pretty much ignore the girls. I smiled at a few, but I never took it past that. I didn’t give a shit. At this point we have two or three groups trying to get our attention. Not because we were the best looking, but we appeared to be rolling in dough. Throwing money around like it was going out of style.


“Hi, thanks for finally smiling back at me” I hear from over my shoulder.


I turn around and it is this girl wit ha banging body, but an ok face. I wasn’t really caring about trying anything because I just got fucking a hot chick not even 30 minutes ago. The guys around me are getting pissed that girl keep coming up to me and hitting on me and not them. Not a single one of them has even engaged in conversation with a girl the whole night. Their idea of baiting them, not showing any interest, and keeping them guessing, seems to be backfiring. Sucks for them.


So this girl, who’s name turns out to be Kimberly, sat and talked to me. She was apparently with a bachelorette party, and was not having any fun because she was the cousin of the bride, and didn’t know anyone but her. Blah blah blah. Boring. She whispers in my ear that she’s pretty drunk and is looking to get some tonight.


“No way. Don’t play with me like that. Because if that s true, I’m gonna take you home right now and nail you real quick” I quickly, now a bit liquored up, say back to her.


“Can we be back before 11:30? We are going to another bar then”


“Sure can. Shouldn’t take long at all. I live close”

READ THE REST OF THE STORY IN KLEENEX AND LOTION VOL. 1

[Hot Pants]

Okay, he must be a really fast fuck. There is no way he had time to do ALL that.

[Mandi Lynn]

Originally Posted by Hot Pants

Okay, he must be a really fast fuck. There is no way he had time to do ALL that.

:eek:

that's so true

hahahahaha

[kandlad]

Originally Posted by Hot Pants

Okay, he must be a really fast fuck. There is no way he had time to do ALL that.

Originally Posted by Mandi Lynn

:eek:

that's so true

hahahahaha

The ladies are calling you out Ben.

[Ben]

Like the intro said...most stories like this are too unrealistic to believe. But, it happened. If they want to know if I can do it, have both of them call me and bring a friend, I will write new "hat trick" rules and do it again.

3 key details they should have picked up on

1) First one WAS a quickie...no denying that. I had not had sex in about a week
2) I lived real close.
3) Third one happened around closing time at the bar.

[Mandi Lynn]

Originally Posted by Ben

Like the intro said...most stories like this are too unrealistic to believe. But, it happened. If they want to know if I can do it, have both of them call me and bring a friend, I will write new "hat trick" rules and do it again.

3 key details they should have picked up on

1) First one WAS a quickie...no denying that. I had not had sex in about a week
2) I lived real close.
3) Third one happened around closing time at the bar.

maaaaaaaaaaybe.....i'll give you the benefit of the dought

[Hot Pants]

Originally Posted by Ben

Like the intro said...most stories like this are too unrealistic to believe. But, it happened. If they want to know if I can do it, have both of them call me and bring a friend, I will write new "hat trick" rules and do it again.

3 key details they should have picked up on

1) First one WAS a quickie...no denying that. I had not had sex in about a week
2) I lived real close.
3) Third one happened around closing time at the bar.

Oh I have no doubt you can do it Tiger, just don't know how you did.

I'll give you 1&3 but for #2 maybe I'd have to see you in action.

[Ben]

Originally Posted by Hot Pants

Oh I have no doubt you can do it Tiger, just don't know how you did.

I'll give you 1&3 but for #2 maybe I'd have to see you in action.

That too can be arranged

[Dick in a Box]

I call total bullshit on this one because no guy can cum that mush.

[Ben]

Originally Posted by Dick in a Box

I call total bullshit on this one because no guy can cum that mush.

Well first people dont cum "mush", and 2nd youve obviously never had more than once in a night. about the 3rd or 4th time your tanks are drained.....shooting blanks homey